just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
