is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
