Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
