hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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