all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
