Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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