Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
