She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
