the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
