theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
