shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
