It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
