Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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