Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
