look no pants
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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