He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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