Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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