Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
