that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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