Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
