I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
