Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
