My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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