Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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