no, he came in my armpit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
