I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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