You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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