we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
