I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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