White coat. Heels.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
