Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
