somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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