Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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