I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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