No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
3 2 1 whiskey
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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