she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
