the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
