Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
