Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
