You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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