This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
