sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
