I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
