Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
