I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
