you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I only lived at night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
