I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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