He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
