But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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