K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
