how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
