Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
