I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
