yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize