I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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