New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
