do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
