Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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