He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Welp...herpes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
